Episode 7: Final Exams and After School Parties

Listen or download this episode: Episode 7

In this episode we explore the leaving exams and how parents can get involved in the process. Gabby looks at ways parents can find out and be involved in a students planning. We look at the many options available for study (looking at NSW Australia in particular) and more broadly at how best to parent during this time. We also look at the Schoolies Week which is the equivalent of Spring Break in the US and how to handle this time.

In this episode Gabby mentioned the following books by Marshall B Rosenberg:

• Non Violent Communication, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way, by Marshall B Rosenberg

You may also be interested in these other books by Marshall B Rosenberg:

• Being Me, Loving You: A practical guide to extraordinary relationships, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• Speak Peace in a World of Conflict: What you say next will change your world, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• Getting Past the Pain Between Us: Healing and reconcilliation without compromise, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• We Can Work It Out: Resolving conflicts peacefully and powerfully, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• Teaching Children Compassionately: How Students and Teachers can succeed with Mutual Understanding, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• Life Enriching Education: Nonviolent Communication helps Schools improve performance, reduce conflict and Enhance relationships, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• The Heart of Social Change: How to make a difference in your world, by Marshall B Rosenberg
• Speaking Peace, by Marshall B Rosenberg

Brat Camp

My favourite TV program, Brat camp is back on ABC (Australia) at 8.30 on Tuesday nights. A group of very naughty teenage girls are sent from their homes in the UK to the Utah wilderness to undergo a radical program that will change their behaviour.

The thing with behaviour is that it’s a habit. We all know that if we’re used to having a delightful glass of chilled white wine (or what ever other alcoholic beverage you prefer) when preparing food for the family every night it’s very difficult to stop doing it for a period of time as it’s become habitual.

These young people are in the habit of behaving disrespectfully and when they do, certain things occur: their parents yell or give in to their whims but one thing is certain these girls have never had to live with consequences that cause the behaviour to change.

What kind of consequences would cause change I hear you ask?

Deprivation is the best consequence of all. If the behaviour is disrespectful the parent could say “ look you’re showing no respect so I’m not going to speak to you until you can speak nicely” or “you showed no respect for our things when you threw that chair so you’ll need to have a week of no computer“.

Parents of children with these outrageous behaviours almost always report difficulty in setting these tough limits. Let’s call it tough love because really, you are not doing them any favours by giving in. It may be peaceful for a minute but it will never improve the behaviour because why should anyone change if they have what they want after the tantrum?

On Brat Camp the girls can’t understand why the trainers don’t yell or get angry when the girls are disrespectful. The behaviour that worked at home is just not working here. The consequence is issued  and is felt by the person who caused it.

In my work with these most difficult children I had similar reactions. The student throwing the tantrum would often scream: “Why don’t you just yell or hit me!!”

The unexpected is confusing and they want to be able to control the adults in their world because they always could before, what’s wrong with you?

The heartening thing is that it’s never too late to change our parenting style but we must always remember to show respect to our children and young adults as the way we treat them we can expect in return.

As the song says “Every move you make/every breath you take/ I’ll be watching you”

Episode 2: Setting effective boundaries with children

Thanks for joining us for Episode 2 of Oh Behave! with Gabby Mead. We’ve had some great feedback from our first episode, and we’re going to answer some of your questions in our podcast today.

Listen to Episode 2 of Oh Behave! with Gabby Mead

In particular we’re looking at boundaries in detail. We take a look at the role of parents, are they there to please children or is their role to help children integrate and become productive members of society.

With practical examples, we examine how to work with your children to reinforce positive behavior and help the child understand they are part of the family unit.

We also look at the role of boundary setting in broken families as well and the unique challenges this particular situation can face.

It’s another big show on Oh Behave! today, and we hope you enjoy it. Don’t forget you can send us your feedback via the website at http://gabbymead.com/ or by email to ohbehave@gabbymead.com

Thanks for listening to the show today!

You can subscribe to the podcast and get all episodes as soon as they are released by downloading Apple iTunes free, installing this software, and then clicking our podcast subscribe link.

Episode 1: Getting your kids off to school

In the first episode of Oh Behave! with Gabby Mead we introduce you to Gabby and talk about some parenting basics, setting boundaries and how to get your kids ready for school.  We also give you some tips for how to deal with teachers as well.

Listen Now